Screwing up right out of gate - VLARCH #1

 Wow, did I really call this challenge VLARCH? Because that would involve VIDEO BLOGGING, Tara! And I had no intention of doing live posts. Because nobody wants to see my mug in the flesh every day. So ignore the original title. My brain left my head for a moment. Again. 

So now I welcome you to BLARCH! Which sounds just as disgusting as VLARCH, but more appropriate. I will be B-L-O-G-G-I-N-G every day this month. 

And speaking of goals, it's already the 4th of March. I'm technically 3 days behind. Typical. I shall do better from now on. Hey, it's been awhile, go easy on me <insert Adele here>.

Today's blog starts with the letter D. As in online dating. A couple months ago I posted my experiences of online dating for, ehem, women of a certain age. I believe somewhere in the blog I stated if this is the dating pool, I'd rather drown. 

Shortly after that blog, I cancelled my subscription to the site I was on. Having empty, one word conversations with neanderthals of the same age became boring. They were either looking for a wife or an easy screw. And most lived out of state, making neither possible. I'd rather sit quietly at home with a bottle of wine, watching my cat lick his balls, thankyouverymuch. 

But what did I just do 3 weeks ago? Yep. Signed up for another dating site, this one for people 50+. A "senior" dating site. Because apparently that's where I'm fucking at right now in life. I was born in 1971. I'm old. Ancient. Retro. Vintage. Get off my lawn.

So I create a profile (again) and post pictures (again), only to be hit on by men who are around my dad's age (sorry Dad, I love you. But damn), or guess what else? YES! Live in other states! 

Has everybody lost their ability to read my profile...or just their goddamn minds. 

And the lying! Ugh, this game is strong. When I see 'Phil' from Madison sends me a DM, saying he's 53...then I look at his picture...GHAAAAA! Honey, you may have been 53 years old. A decade ago, shoot. 

I don't know if it's me being so out of touch, maybe men do age differently than women, but c'mon! I've got eyes. And I'm sure some of you are probably saying to yourself 'it's not all about looks, Tara'. And I agree with you. But there needs to be some semblance of physical attraction. No one wants to kiss an ugly guy, amiright?! 

My current subscription is almost up. I did actually make a connection with a particular someone. And get this; he's 5 years my junior. Go figure. He's cougar hunting, and I respect that. MEOW!

We shall see how that plays out, kids. 

Until tomorrow. Still wanna BLARCH with me?? Hope so. Be sure to subscribe, I've added this handy dandy box on the left in my side bar.